90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days finds Kimberly Menzies frustrated. Because Usman Umar would rather cuddle with his new laptop. Alina Kasha isn’t feeling the love from an overwhelmed and insensitive Caleb Greenwood. Newcomer Ella Johnson is infatuated with her overseas crush Johnny. Memphis Sandoval finally meets Hamza, and the feels are all there but she’s in for a surprise. And Mike Berk can’t wait to meet Ximena Morales Cuellar, but can he deal with her past? Let’s dive in like superfans to this recap of Season 5, Episode 3 First Date Second Thoughts.

90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days: Kimberly Menzies Can’t Buy Usman’s Love

Kimberly Menzies arrives in Tanzania giddy with excitement. She isn’t sure how to hail a taxi in a strange land. But she let us know she was in the military and can kill with her bare hands. She accepts the first ride she gets. And asks the driver if he’s safe. Of course, he says yes and off they go. He regrets it immediately. She says she is the potential girlfriend of an international superstar named SojaBoy.

She changes into a SojaBoy t-shirt and primps in front of a mirror on 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days. But don’t call her a superfan. Kim has reserved the honeymoon suite to entice Usman Umar to sleep with her. Usman has booked his own room as he wishes to take things slow. He is on the way with his entourage which consists of his manager Badmus and his wing man Slam-T.

Usman asks his posse to hang back as he meets his potential girlfriend. She cannot contain her excitement and seems like she wants to devour him like a hoagie. Usman Umar is pleased. He suggests she is better than he expected. He gets miffed when his friends call her a “superfan”. Later Kimberly Menzies turns on the charm by gifting him a MacBook pro and a PlayStation 5. He is enamored of both. And tells her he’ll be sleeping in his own room tonight cuddling his new electronics.

Alina Kasha Isn’t Feeling the Love on 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days

Alina Kasha awaits her American internet love Caleb Greenwood. She’s alone in baggage claim sitting in her wheelchair. Caleb finally arrives and it’s sweet but awkward when they are finally face to face. They pull their masks down for a close up. While Caleb is pleased with her beauty, he admits she is “smaller than he thought”. And struggles to push her wheelchair and his luggage out to the taxi.

On 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days, Alina Kasha gives him a quick lesson on how to fold and stash her wheelchair. Caleb Greenwood admits to production that he “needs some time to adjust”. While Alina has spent a lifetime trying to adjust, she complains much less. Even when he asks her what she can carry up the steps of the inaccessible hotel he chose. Or when he seems surprised that she needs a chair to even get into the high bed.

Next he wants to know where her friend Elijah slept, and Alina admits it was next to her. He examines the sheets (gross). And asks if they cuddle. Alina says no. She said they are roommates and friends. Caleb admits he cuddles his friends. And does an example with a stiff friend-zone hug with Alina. She feels like he’s not attracted to her and is surprised there hasn’t been a kiss yet after 13 years of waiting.

Ella Johnson Hits the Jackpot with Johnny

On 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days, Ella Johnson is 29 and lives in Idaho. She created quite the oasis for herself. Including a purple house, dragon collection and 2 dogs. Also, an obsession with Asian culture. Ella loves cosplay and anime. She grabs a sword and heads out to the yard where she spars with a martial arts dummy over an imaginary crystal. Ella has battled her weight since childhood. And her classmates weren’t very nice. So, she created a fantasy world because it was easier than her painful reality.

Part of that fantasy world is an admitted obsession with Asian men. Ella Johnson decided to go beyond the borders of Idaho to find her prince. She’s convinced she hit the jackpot when she met Johnny, who lives in China. The two have been talking (among other things) for over a year. And Johnny is getting ready to come for a visit. Ella confides in her mom for support. Her mom is on board, but also worries that she’ll end up heartbroken.

Ella heads out for some drinks and lunch with her roommate Sonia and BFF Korbie. They express concern for her also. Since she did the international thing before, and it was a huge fail. But she assures them this time is different. Because she’s gone full monty on video chat with Johnny. He loves that she’s well endowed. But also promises to cook healthy for her. Ella admits Johnny has a son who lives with his grandparents. The gals see this as a red flag, but Ella’s not giving up on her prince yet.

Hamza Listens to His Mama on 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days

Hamza engages in some guy talk with a friend. He lives in Tunisia where life is far more conservative. But he admits he likes himself a plump woman who isn’t boring and doesn’t mind showing a little skin. He admits that some in his homeland think American women are a bit loose. But he’s excited for his American woman Memphis Sandoval to arrive. His friend approves of her pictures and asks if she has a sister.

Not everyone is on board with this match on 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days. Hazma still lives with his mom. She divorced his dad when he was young. She rouses her son out of bed and makes him breakfast. Hazma admits that his mom cooks and cleans for him and treats him like a baby. So, it sets up a nice crossover for this pair to make a cameo on TLC’s I Love a Mama’s Boy.

Hamza’s mom will fix up a room for Memphis Sandoval. Because mama’s baby boy isn’t sleeping with her till he gets married. Hamza doesn’t agree with this. But in the end, he’ll listen to his mama. He goes to the airport to pick up Memphis and the sparks fly. But Hamza breaks the news in the taxi that the two won’t be getting jiggy with it under his mom’s roof. So, Memphis joins the rest of the 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days cast in some early frustration.

Before The 90 Days: Mike Berk Doesn’t Know Everything about Ximena Morales Cuellar

Mike Berk is packing up to head to Colombia to meet his “girlfriend” Ximena Morales Cuellar. He’s anxious as he hasn’t had a girlfriend since early puberty. He even packs up some toys for her two young sons. He bids his dad and grandad goodbye. Grandad is sad to see him go. And worries about the language barrier. Which should be the least of Mike’s worries. Mike makes it all the way to Colombia. Ximena is nowhere to be found.

He stands around for 30 minutes in an empty baggage claim. Mike Berk thinks he’s been stood up on 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days. We get a glimpse of Ximena finally showing up and then go back in time 24 hours for a closer look at her daily life. Ximena Morales Cuellar dotes on her two young sons. They take a trip to the park with juice and popsicles as refreshments. She explains that she does all the parenting and has a pretty shady past Mike knows nothing of.

It seems the oldest son was the product of a one-night stand. Son number 2 was conceived during a conjugal visit. It seems Jasmine is a fan of jailhouse gymnastics. Dad is still in the clink. Mike came along with his goofy smile and open wallet and Ximena was hooked. Mike has bought her a couch, a stove, a coffee maker and various other household furnishings. He also pays the rent while she’s been out of work as a manicurist due to the pandemic. Good luck Mike.

Gino Palazzolo Will Tip the Waitress but Not His Hat

On 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days, Jasmine Pineda and Gino Palazzolo head out for a romantic dinner in Panama. Jasmine’s phone pings over wine. The message is from Paul. Jasmine shows him the message and explains it’s actually from her friend Paulina. Gino’s satisfied with this, and Jasmine demands to see his messages. During phone show and tell, Jasmine finds a strange friend request and demands Gino delete it.

Next up it’s time to order and Jasmine self-righteously orders the veggie wrap. She judges Gino for ordering a burger. Gino Palazzolo suggests he’ll add a nice tip to the check. This sends Jasmine off the rails. And she suggests he has a thing going on with the masked waitress. Who he met 20 minutes ago as reported by Soap Dirt. Jasmine Pineda blabs about not tipping servers. She said they will come to expect it and Panamanians don’t have change to spare. Good luck in America with that attitude girl.

Gino sulks behind Jasmine’s back at their apartment. He wonders if his 20 percent tip will cost him a night of intimacy. Jasmine seems to be over it and changes into some blue lingerie. This makes Gino think that he should’ve popped a blue pill already. He stalls by saying he needs to charge his phone and declines a shower. But ends up in bed sucking face with Jasmine with his hat on without the help of any pharmaceuticals. To be continued……